Not that I'd expect you to deny it, but are you really as great a guy as your reputation indicates?
We'll change all that, don't worry. But really, I've had a pretty good life, so there's no reason to be a butt-head. The things that are going well so much outweigh the bad, you'd have to be a jerk to complain. The only thing that's hard right now is working seven days a week. But you get that opportunity, you do it.

There aren't a lot of busy stars who let their old buddies move in with them when their wives kick them out.
Those guys are doing pretty well now. One of them has just written a television series and a couple have movies going, so I think they're all moving out.
There also aren't many celebs who treat a 160-pound pig a like member of the family.
That's why I let friends stay at the house--to feed the pig when I'm not around. I call Max my earthquake survival kit. I've had him nine years now; he's part of my life. I do still eat pork, though.

Okay, animal-loving swell guy, tell us a Christmas story.
Actually, I have a pretty great one. Our family always got our tree on Christmas Day. One year, I was away at college, and I got a call from my mom. She told me the dog I'd had for about 12 years had gotten into a neighbor's yard, and the guy shot him in the butt.
I wanted to kill the guy. He had this beautiful little house. Everything was perfect--little picket fence, perfect yard and one evergreen tree right in the middle. So, on Christmas Eve, I snuck into his yard and sawed down that goddamned thing. That was our Christmas tree that year. The dog turned out fine, though he didn't walk right for a while.

Let you near children, do they?
After doing One Fine Day and playing a pediatrician on ER, I will never have children! I'm going to get a vasectomy. No, I just think they're a huge responsibility, and I am probably not the most responsible guy in the world, so I don't think I want to jump into that.
But I tell you, the kids in this movie were great. They were more adult than I was. Mae Whitman, who plays my daughter, is one of the best actors I've ever worked with. The director would say, "I need you to cry," and she'd go, "Okay, hang on." Then he'd say, "Now I need about 30 percent less," and she would cry 30 percent less! I hate her.

No one had to do anything to make her cry?
Well, I pulled a couple of hairs out of the top of her head. No, she could do anything.

And the bigger girl? What was Michelle like?
She really could've made it difficult for me, 'cause I'm coming in from television, and she's made so many movies.
She must have some respect for TV. Her husband, David E. Kelley, created Picket Fences and Chicago Hope.
Yeah, ER's competition. Talk about a living hell. Mandy Patinkin could've been doing this role! But she made it very easy. The only thing you worry about is holding your own with someone like Michelle Pfeiffer.
I remember, early on, I was just trying to remember my lines and get the rhythm of the scene. But when we did the first take, Michelle had all these other things going on. I walked over to the director, Michael Hoffman, and said, "Oh man, I just got my hat handed to me." I just realized, on so many levels, how good she is.

Having played Catwoman, did Michelle give you any tips on how to get through a Batman movie?
She said not to sweat if I could help it. I can't help it.

What about peeing before getting into the costume?
I just pee in the costume. Although the movie's fun to do, it's a miserable gig right now, 'cause the suit is awful. It's made of hard rubber and weighs about 50 pounds, but the hardest part is that your eyes and ears are covered and your nose is plugged up. I think the most I can keep it on for is 15 minutes, and then I'm out of it and just soaking wet.
If you really had to wear this thing, everybody would kick the hell out of you. I mean, the most elaborate stunt I've been able to do is walk to my trailer.

Is there any trepidation about taking over a franchise as big as Batman? Or, for that matter, headlining Peacemaker, the first feature from DreamWorks?
I think it's easier to be the third Batman than Val [Kilmer] had it being the second Batman. At least now, we've established that I'm quite easily replaced. [Laughs.]
The only worry about doing Batman is that you don't want to screw up something that's been successful three other times. But by the same token, it's easier in a way. Y'know, you're sitting at home and you get a call from Joel Schumacher saying, "You wanna star in one of the biggest movies of all time and one of the great franchises in the world, and we'll give you a real shot at a film career?" You don't really pause, you just say, "Sure."
As for DreamWorks and Peacemaker, again, if you thought about it for any period of time, you wouldn't do anything. I mean, I never would have left Kentucky to be an actor if I'd pondered the odds. But no, there's no trepidation about it.

Apparently, you took that same approach with your successful stand against video paparazzi like Hard Copy. I haven't met a Hollywood star who doesn't support you on that one.
I didn't plan for it to snowball like this. I was really just angry at a company, particularly a certain guy, who I felt was crossing the line. It's not about censorship, because I don't believe in that. It's about being responsible for what you're saying.
Look, if I'm walking out of a cathouse with some hooker on my arm, I deserve it. I'm a celebrity, a public figure, that's fair. But if I'm walking down the street with my girlfriend or my secretary and someone comes up and says, "Hey, does she give good head?"--which is what happens almost every day--there has to be a line drawn.

Speaking of drawing the line, you've got to be near your limit for television and film commitments. Why are you working yourself so hard?
It's literally, "You have an opportunity, you should do it now." My Aunt Rosemary has been successful, and then not. She didn't get less talented along the way, things just changed; rock 'n' roll came in, female pop vocalists went out. She's had a very tough time of it, on and off.
What I learned from that was not to say no to the best chances just because I'm tired or because I want the weekend off. I will have time to do all of that. I have two more years after this one on my ER contract, which I will honor because that's the deal I made and I am proud to be on the show. And then I'll have time to do a film a year and get some vacation time.

Are we talking basic actor's insecurity here?
I think it's almost everybody's life, it's not just insecurity. Once I started working, I never thought I wasn't going to work. I approach this as a business and always have. For me, pulling back now would be like not buying real estate at the best time of the year to buy.

Even though you've worked steadily for a dozen years, are you glad that the big fame and success was awhile in coming?
It's much better that it happened later in my career. I'm working with this young guy on ER, Noah Wyle. He's 25--10 years younger than me. He's more successful than I was at his age, but he handles it with this great maturity that I don't think I would have had. I think I would've believed some of the hype.
When you're 25 and on top of the world, everyone tells you you're great. And the danger is, having not gone up and down a few times at that age, you really believe it.

But if you're not successful at a certain point...
You get bitter and angry? That happens anyway. [Laughs.] Look, it's very easy to sit here right now with some films in the bank that I like and think I have a shot and feel pretty cocky. But, you know, three years from now, I could very easily be saying, "Paper or plastic?"